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It Is Not Napa Or Sonoma
When a wine person speaks about the wine regions of Northern California they usually mean...
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In Key West -- Searching for a Long-Lost Key Lime Pie
My first exposure to Key lime pie was at the age of 12...
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Gastro Gifts for Wine and Food Fanatics
For a foodie, eating isn't just about filling the proverbial tank it's about stirring the senses and satiating the soul.
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Downtown Napa - Swirl, Sip, Savor A Walk on the Wine Side
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Putting on the Ritz in San Francisco's Nob Hill
What to do with an architectural grand dame that sits atop...
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Is the UK Too Stuffy for Romance?
Having spent my last column maligning New Year's Eve and...
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Crawfish Eating 101 in Shreveport
Within one hour of arriving the Shreveport Regional Airport...
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Find a Hero
Do you have a golf swing hero? I have one. Now I don't mean a favorite golfer whom you cheer...
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Living High in Bali
Bali has been called the island of the gods and with good reason. The moment you set foot on...
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New Year Self Improvement Innovations
Now that the holidays have passed, it's time to enter into the new year with a plan for... continue>>
Being Prepared
In a flash it was gone! Fortunately it wasn't your home that was demolished or severally damaged with all its... continue>>
Eat Your Spinach!
Chances are most of us grew up to that command -- a salvo launched from one end or the other of the...
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What do you feed to a Naked Lady
This dish was first prepared for me in Paris. I was learning at a...
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Stimulating Relaxation in Big Sur, Carmel, Monterey and Pacific Grove
When Things Start to Go Bump in the Night
The thing I love about this time of year in the UK, now that we...
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Gain More Putts on your Regular Foursome
Some of you may have noticed a new stat come into the public eye...
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Travel to the Home of Golf
When you think of the home of golf, you have to be thinking of Scotland. A lot of people think...
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2012 MATPRA Conference
The Mid-Atlantic Tourism Public Relations Alliance (MATPRA) is a group of tourism marketing and...
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D.C. Drama At Newseum
So, are you a drama queen looking for some drama? As if Washington doesn’t already have...
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The Immediate Replacement of a Canine Tooth with a...

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The Approach Shot and Volley Can Come Back
At the September USPTA World Conference, I presnted our...
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Have you ever played Brazil?
It is safe to say, I love Exeter City FC. For those of you not familiar with the soccer club...
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Huatulco Holiday - Nine Bays Harboring the Secret
What happens when you want to immerse yourself in the culture...
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San Miguel de Allende: Awakening All Your Senses
Bucket list aside, this magical Mexican colonial town...
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Questions for the Peripatetic Oenophile
As more people are becoming accustomed to drinking and...
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Little Cruise Line Perks Grandparents Will Love to Share with Young Cruisers
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Weight Loss Battle: Men vs Women
Do men lose weight faster than women? Is this just a myth or can...
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Andy Rooney on Sex!


ANDY ROONEY ON SEX!

1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big pecker or a good memory .... I don't remember what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings.."

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

6. Panties: not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Question: What's an Australian kiss? Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.

15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life? Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.

16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!


Celibacy awaits us all!

Whether you are a country music fan or not, these are the words of a deep thinker and a highly intelligent person. Simple, yet so profound! These are words of wisdom from a famous philosopher, iconic country and western singer, on his 75th birthday below his esteemed portrait. Only a man with such wisdom and maturity could be so concise and succinct in phrasing his feelings at this turning point in his life.




"I have outlived my pecker."
The Penis Poem--by Willie Nelson

My nookie days are over,

My pilot light is out.

What used to be my sex appeal,

Is now my water spout.

Time was when, on its own accord,

From my trousers it would spring.

But now I've got a full time job,

To find the f***in' thing.

It used to be embarrassing,

The way it would behave.

For every single morning,

It would stand and watch me shave.

Now as old age approaches,

It sure gives me the blues.

To see it hang its little head,

And watch me tie my shoes!!


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